This essay first appeared in Newsday. 

In recent years, our public and private dialogues have grown increasingly coarse. With this roughness, we have witnessed the troubling return of the R-word. 

According to the Special Olympics, when social media users post about people with intellectual disabilities, 70% of those posts are negative, and 60% include a slur. In recent days, we have seen leaders like Elon Musk repeatedly use the term.

As the father of a young man with Down syndrome and the leader of a business where more than half of my colleagues have differing abilities, I feel compelled to address this alarming trend.

There was a time when the word “retarded” was acceptable. But even then, it dehumanized people with differing abilities—people like my son, John. Its usage gained prominence during an era when individuals with intellectual developmental disabilities were often shunned, confined to institutions, denied an education, barred from employment, and rejected by society. They were treated as less than human. John is not less than human.

Thankfully, times have changed. Today, people with differing abilities are increasingly recognized as full and valuable members of our society, often playing prominent roles. John is an entrepreneur who co-founded the world’s largest sock store. He is one of a growing number of entrepreneurs, business leaders, artists, actors, athletes, and political activists with differing abilities who are making a profound impact. At our business we succeed because of the excellent work our colleagues with differing abilities do.

People with differing abilities have been patient waiting for the rest of us to catch up, to recognize their strengths and ability to contribute to our society. We need them. We need them in our schools, our businesses and our communities.

The use of the R-word drives division and creates barriers. Words have the power to harm or uplift, to divide or unite. By choosing compassion, understanding, and inclusion, we can inspire others to do the same.

Let’s drive out the use of the R-word once and for all. Doing so isn’t just a matter of semantics; it’s a commitment to creating a more just and inclusive society.