Our eldest son and his wife recently gave birth to our first grandchild. John is now an uncle. We were reminded of the joy we experienced with the birth of each of our three sons. Those of you who are parents, think of the exhilaration when you gave birth. 

We also remember how well-meaning people struggled to find something to say when they learned that John had Down syndrome. Despite their good intentions, many of their words were hurtful. 

This presents a good opportunity to share what one can say to the parents of a newborn child with Down syndrome. Start by offering love, support, and congratulations just as you would for any other new parent. Be kind. 

Here are seven things you can say to new parents of a child with Down syndrome to show your care and support: 

1. "Congratulations on your beautiful baby!" 

Celebrate the new life! Whether the baby is in the NICU or home, they are a beautiful addition to the world. Just like any other new parent, they deserve to hear a heartfelt congratulations. Bring a small gift or a card, and make sure your message is one of joy, not pity. 

We did not know John would be born with Down syndrome. We found out when the covering obstetrician said, “I am so sorry. I have bad news. It appears that your son may have a slight case of Down syndrome.” 

That was awful. She should have started with one word: Congratulations.  

2. "How are you doing?" 

My wife and I are strong people and we have weathered many storms, but we are human. With John’s birth, we were confronted with immediate medical issues (he had surgery on day three because he had an incomplete intestine and open-heart surgery before he was three months old). We were learning about Down syndrome, caring for two other boys and thinking about our jobs. It was our closest friends who checked in on us. 

Ask how the parents are feeling. It’s okay if you don’t have the perfect words. We were overwhelmed and simply asking how we were doing showed care and concern. It helped to know that we had people there supporting us. 

3. "Your baby looks just like you!" 

We’re already talking about who our new grandson looks like. That is a natural conversation. John may have Down syndrome, but he looks so much like one parent (we won’t mention whom) and his brothers. That’s worth talking about. 

New parents often wonder if their baby will resemble the family. Point out the baby’s beautiful features—whether it’s their nose, eyes, or smile. This reassures the parents that while their baby may have Down syndrome, they are still a unique individual, deeply connected to their family. 

4. "I’m bringing you a meal on [specific day] at [specific time]." 

Immediately after his birth, our pediatrician transferred John to the nearest tertiary care center and the NICU. For weeks, we shuttled between home and the hospital. Practical help was invaluable during this time. The offer to bring a meal or help our older boys made a difference. Being specific about when and what you’ll do helps reduce the burden of making decisions, and the parents can feel supported without needing to ask for help. 

5. "What a strong little fighter!" 

Talking about the medical challenges faced by a newborn with Down syndrome can be tough. Prior to his intestinal surgery, we brought a Catholic priest into the NICU to baptize John because we did not know if he could survive the operation. How much it meant to me when my friend Cliff hugged me and told me how strong John was and that he would be okay.  

Acknowledging any medical challenges the baby may face can be helpful but keep it positive. Saying the baby is strong or resilient provides encouragement to the parents, letting them know they’re not alone in their journey. 

6. "She/he is so loved." 

We were doing the best we could to support John at his birth. We learned all we could about Down syndrome, connected to Down syndrome networks, which was so important, and advocated for the best medical care possible. My wife was amazing. I spent morning, noon and night in the NICU singing songs, reading poems and telling John about the great life that awaited him. In times like that, reassurance can make a big difference. 

Reassuring parents that their baby is loved and valued can help ease their fears. Whether it’s cuddling the baby or simply acknowledging their arrival with excitement, your support affirms that this baby, like any other, deserves to be celebrated and cherished. 

7. "You are going to be amazing parents."

Be careful here. We would hear from caring people that God would only give us a burden if he knew we could handle it. That is an odd view of the cosmos, that God is waiting to intervene and test people. But John was not and is not a burden. 

Parents of a child with a differing ability will almost unanimously tell you that we are the lucky ones.  Our children make us better people, better parents. John has certainly made me a better man and I am grateful for his patience and generosity. 

New parents of a child with Down syndrome may be worried about what the future holds. Telling them that they’ll be great parents helps build their confidence and reminds them that they are capable, even in the face of challenges. Encouragement is key and knowing that others believe in them makes all the difference. 

There are no magic words. Precision is not required. Be kind. Be supportive. Be empathetic. You will do fine and the parents of that newborn with Down syndrome will be grateful. 

About John’s Crazy Socks 

John’s Crazy Socks was inspired by John Lee Cronin, a young man with Down syndrome, and his love of colorful and fun socks—what he calls his “crazy socks.” He and his father, Mark X. Cronin, started the company as a social enterprise with a mission of Spreading Happiness™. With more than 4,000 socks, John’s Crazy Socks is now the world’s largest sock store. More than half their employees have a differing ability, and their Giving Back program has raised over $750,000 for charity partners like the Special Olympics, the National Down Syndrome Society, and the Autism Society of America. Most of all, we are Spreading Happiness™. 

For more information about John’s Crazy Socks, visit our webpage, Facebook page, Instagram account, TikTok or YouTube channel. You can also contact us at 631-760-5625 or via email at service@johnscrazysocks.com.